Seizing Life’s Opportunities – Will You?

What challenges in life’s uncertainties cause you to play it safe verses taking the risk for a greater life? King Solomon, considered one of the wisest and possibly the richest man to walk this earth, shared the necessity to seize life’s opportunities. He knew life had no guarantees and to wait for the perfect condition, which might not ever come, we could lose out having it at all.
Ecc 11:1 “Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again.”
(Life Application Bible NIV)

As we begin a new week, what conditions have you been waiting for that if action were taken might yield grander results? Where’s your spirit of trust and adventure for facing life’s risks and opportunities? Worry less about the Red Sea ahead and trust in faith the waters will part when needed.

“A vision is not the same as a plan…A vision forces us to “see” something, it’s very different from a list.”
(Kristin Armstrong, Happily Ever After @copyright 2007)

How do you vision your life ahead? What does it look like? When traveling this past week, there was a lot of time to reflect on times I took risks for the better, times I missed out when not seizing the moment, smiles and tears for that which has come upon me over the last several years. On the journey home, I found myself choosing to vision God’s favor on a life that fills my hearts desires. One filled with great passion, joy, contentment, surrounded with family and friends always.

What risks are you willing to take for a fuller, richer life?

@copyright 2015 Austin LIfestylist, Marjorie Burciaga

Stop Wishing For Something More and Get What You Desire

With the emergence of spring time has come the yearning from several clients for something new or asking how to move forward out of their current situation. Many of us can find ourselves in relationships that just aren’t working or perhaps wondering if he or she is the one. How do we know when to call it quits?

Make a list of characteristics of your ideal mate. This is much easier to do when not in a relationship since the trick is not making a list to fit the person you are currently seeing. Be honest with yourself!
List out pros and cons of current relationship. List should include characteristics, habits, personal desires etc. There is no limit. How much of what is on your ideal mate list matches up with the pros on this list? I always tell clients, “Play the movie forward. What do you want the end result to look like?” Make sure you are not settling for less than what you want and desire.
What continues to nag you? What gut feelings keep coming up in your mind that make you question the one whom you are with? Are you asking yourself the same questions that you were contemplating 6 months ago or a year or more? It never ceases to amaze me when talking to a client or even a friend about concerns they are having in a relationship that will continue to surface again and again. Those are red flags! We need to pay attention to them. Some we will learn to live with and will seem more like a yellow flag of caution, but many times those red flags need or must be addressed at some point to solidify being in the relationship at all. Too frequently those same red flags end up being huge factors to ending a relationship or divorce.
What are you not getting out of the current relationship that you need, want, or desire? How much are you compromising to stay in the relationship? Do you find yourself avoiding important topics of conversation? Are you weary of the possibility of being alone? Worried about starting over again? Is there passion both in daily life and in the bedroom? How much of the decision to end the relationship is about time invested? Having guilt about waiting this long to break it off? If you have ever been in a past relationship then know these are valid concerns, yet you also know the end is almost always difficult no matter what the reasons maybe. More often than not regardless of how much time it takes to end a relationship, it still ends the same way just more time has passed with more emotions and history involved to get there.
Why do we seem to have chemistry, but just can’t make it work? Two people that find themselves attracted to each other, wanting many of the same things, don’t always make a great couple for the long haul. Yes chemistry is important, however there is so much more that goes into a relationship. There are not many couples like James Carville and Mary Matalin that can make it work in spite of their vast differences about politics. The same can be said when it comes to religion, ideas about sex, how to raise a family, financial decisions, addiction habits, physical activity, health, etc. All these are potential hot buttons for many couples.
Do you find yourself wondering more times than not “what if”? What if I moved on? Or wondering if someone else that has caught your eye would be a better fit? Or even thinking about a past relationship, comparing the differences, and wondering where would we be now? One must consider their gut feelings, yet keep in prospective that feelings ebb and flow by looking at the patterns of behavior in the relationship. Relationships more often than not have their ups and downs along with difficult moments. It’s not having them that is the concern, it’s how you get through them. Do you feel content with how matters are addressed? Do you feel you can have the difficult discussions without judgement attached? Are you able to be honest with your answers and ask the hard questions without fear of the outcome or reaction? Do you feel safe in bed with your partner if in an intimate relationship? The ideal partner will make you feel safe physically and emotionally. Your overall well-being should feel contentment, satisfaction, and joy with the person you are with on a daily basis in spite of the circumstances along with a sense of knowing he or she is the best person for you.

Preparing for a date: It’s a First, Make it a Second and a Third

We all know that chemistry plays a role in the progression of dating, however there are dating skills that once embraced can maximize your opportunities. Many singles are coming off “the holiday season” with Valentine’s on their heels wondering must I really go through another holiday season without a significant other. Others may wonder, what does it take to maximize a date or get that next date?
Going on the 1st couple of dates with someone is much like a job interview except it is a personal interview so consider what you want others to know about you before you even say a word. We say a lot about ourselves without even speaking. It is not new news that 1st impressions can be everything. We know it just by how people judge pictures and profiles with online dating without even meeting or knowing the person or when walking down a street whether you feel inclined to nod, or say hello verses passing on by with your head down or moving to the other side of the street. We may not think we judge but we do. It’s instinctive, it’s part of a protection mechanism within us as well. So again, what would you like others to know about you before you even say a word? We say things with our eyes, our expressions, how we carry ourselves, our posture, our gait and of course our overall presentation. Is your overall presentation congruent with your inner being? Is your overall presentation an asset to meeting your personal goals?
When it comes to presentation and dating another good question to consider is “how much time do you spend preparing for a date”? Men are typically responsible for planning the first couple of outings. Which should include making a reservation if going to dinner, brunch or even lunch sometimes so that you are not standing and waiting at length for a table as well as making sure the table is not back at the kitchen where you would be competing with the kitchen staff while trying to get to know your date. Keep in mind restaurants do close so make sure it is still open if you have not been there in a while. Men, if you take care of the details on a date it conveys a message of being able to take care for the details in a life together and shows a since of caring for the overall well being of the couple. Also, take time to plan out what you will wear including pressing the garments along with being groomed. I had a friend that show up to a nice restaurant to meet her date not only was he late, he showed up in clothes not fit for the date nor were they pressed. They had been set up by a mutual friend. He not only showed a lack of respect for my friend, his date, but he conveyed a lack of respect for their friend that thought enough of both of them to make the introduction. Another helpful tip, gentlemen, is once you decide what to wear share with your date so she can prepare to be dressed appropriately.
We all know it can be a small world. Therefore, men and women need to show up to a date with an attitude of respect regardless of the outcome. Even if they are not the person for you, they may know someone that is, they might be a great contact for work, you never know when nor how your paths could cross again, and who they know that they might share the encounter with that could have a greater influence on your life and career. And once at the date, make sure that you are not sitting across from each other if at all possible. It creates a job interview environment verses a personal encounter to possibly have your last first date.
Men’s role on a 1st date:
• Find out about her – listen as much as you talk
• Show her you can care for her emotionally, financially, and later physically
• Discover one thing you like about her and tell her
Women’s role on a 1st date:
• Reveal your inner and outer beauty – it is not about being a size 2
• Be interesting – show your strengths yet create a since of mystique – men are innately hunters so allow them to hunt to desire to get to know you better
• Show sex appeal – not cheesy or sleazy – emphasize your best physical asset like great toned arms, or your decolletage

Dating With Style: Fashion Basics for Men and Women

A person doesn’t need to break the bank to have a nice basic wardrobe. Tips for dating with style.

Fashion Basics for Men:
1. “Go To” Jean – need to fit well, not too short in length, dark color preferably
2. White Dress Shirt- very versatile to go from work to social
3. Dark Sports Coat – it’s never out of style to look suave, maximize budget
by purchasing a dark suit and use pieces separately
4. Dress Shoe – hard sole shoes statistically convey authority
5. Nice Casual Shoe or boot
6. Sunglasses – need to fit your face and convey personality
7. *Signature Scent – a nonverbal way to draw one in to you
8. Polo Shirt – collar shirts convey authority and leadership
9. Metal Watch
10. Basic T-shirt – a nice t-shirt can look really good under a sport coat

Additional wardrobe staples: wallet that is not worn out or a money clip, flattering swim trunks, colored dress shirt, cashmere sweater, dark trousers. Buy a suit and use the pieces to stretch your wardrobe options.

Fashion Basics for Women:

1. “Go To” Jean
2. Classic Black Heels
3. Little Black Dress – Navy or Charcoal may look best on some women
4. Dark Colored Skirt
5. Feminine Blouse
6. Statement Piece of Jewelry – great way to show personality
7. Handbag
8. Sunglasses – needs to fit your face
9. *Signature Scent
10. Base and Lip Color appropriate to skin tone

Additional wardrobe staples: swimsuit and cover up (a maxi dress is a great way to stretch a budget to be worn as cover up or dress), white shirt, black pumps, clutch.

*Signature scent – test before you buy a full bottle. Go to a perfume counter and ask for someone that is very familiar with the scents, possibly the department manager or buyer. Describe to them a little about you and scents you have worn in the past that you were complimented on. Have them give you 3-5 samples that will last you 3-5 days. Wear each one continuously until fragrance is gone, if not compliments try the next one until you come across one that you can tell others are drawn into you and or comment. This is not about spraying yourself silly it should be dabbed on.

Maximize your Online Dating Profile

Maximize Your Best Self Now for Online Dating Profiles
Profile Photos:
• Show your face – no sunglasses on the lead profile picture
(if it’s one of several in profile that’s at like a beach somewhere fine, otherwise question what they are trying to hide)
• Keep main profile picture current, if online more than a couple of years change it
• No selfies
• Have interesting backgrounds – no pics by your bedroom wall – shows no imagination for putting your best self out there so where else will there be no imagination?….
• Make sure pictures with opposite gender are not ex-partners, label who you are with, don’t crop where other gender if visible
• Guys limit number of pictures with your teenager daughter and her girl- friends – too cheesy
• Label headshots since they are often photo shopped
• Use current pictures or put dates taken
Pictures online should show your best self. They need to convey your personality and interests. This is not about not being genuine or authentic however a picture does say a thousand words so for all those out there that say, “Well they can take me how I am or forget it”. Then as Dr. Phil would say, “How’s it working for you so far?” If online dating is not going well then rethink how you are portraying yourself not only in pictures but in your profile summary as well.
Tag Name
• Needs to be catchy
• Be easy to explain in a positive statement
• Tell something about you or your interests
Profile Content
• Use “I” less
• Men look for kind hearted, sweet, creative, adventurous, passionate about something, like to have sex (although this is a bit tricky to convey in a profile), not crazy (this too is hard to evaluate online)
• Women look for financially stable (it’s less about the income & more about stability), easy going – not to controlling or short tempered, free of addictions, family oriented, those that have hobbies/interests
• Be careful with humor, what might sound funny may not convey well in text
• Answer some of question but leave some mystery to the full answer
• Tell the kind of person you desire to have in a partner/spouse
What do you typically do on a Friday night?
• Either don’t answer or be honestly creative with how you spend this time
• What you do with family, friends or how you spend time chilling out
Online Tips
• Pay the upgrade!
• Those that are serious take time to fill out the profile content & put several pictures in the album
• A interested prospect will send a message that conveys he has read your profile, what he likes about your and your photos
• A wink is not a legitimate contact it is phishing
• Men that put women in favorites without any more contact are phishing
• Women that put men in favorites are showing interest
• Take the time to email a bit; always classy if they give you a personal email, Linked In, or work contact to legitimize their interest and intent to be authentic
ALWAYS meet in a public place
• Authentic daters do not ask for money, Beware of scams on dating sites