Get Up and Get Going!

pool of waterWhat is holding you back from stepping on the path that waits beside you for a better life?

How many of us are waiting for some outside force for a jump start?

How many of us use boundless excuses to stay stuck in the same place? Might it be an unsatisfactory job or work environment, or doing what it takes to get in shape, or a relationship that isn’t meeting the desires of your heart and soul, a friendship that continues to pull you down?

How many of us stay in a woe as me frame of mind saying over and over, “You have no idea what I have suffered or gone through”?

How many of us allow feelings of fear of what we don’t know trap us from doing something new, something different, something even exciting yet possibly challenging or different from the norm?
How many of us are missing the blessings that are all around when all we need to do is get up and get going?

How many feel like the man by the pool in Bethesda many centuries ago who had been ill for 38 years? When asked why he continued to lay right beside the pool waters that could heal him, he responded, “That no one would put him in the pool and if he were to try another would beat him to it.”1  What in your own current situation is keeping you from getting into the water? What is keeping you from getting up and get going?

I love Jesus response, “Rise, take up your bed and walk.”* Do you know anyone whom you would like to say to them, “Get up and get going?” Better yet, notice the command was not only to rise, but to pick up, clean up where he laid, and walk away from it. Putting an end to all that had come before. Everything that lead up to that moment didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered was moving forward. All that was needed was to step into the blessing that awaited.

How telling for us in that command to get up, pick up, put an end to what has been up to this day and to walk forward.
How freeing! I love what Eileen Caddy wrote, “It is resistance which causes suffering. The new is unconventional and that goes against the grain with many. People find it hard to understand or even believe that I would ask anyone to do anything which does not fit into a nice, neat, conventional pattern.”2 Our creator designed us to desire more than just a status quo life, he designed us to be open for greater possibilities.

Are you laying in a mess that needs to be cleaned up and stepped out of to live life well? Do you know someone that is struggling with all kinds of excuses and hang ups as to why they can’t get up and get going? Sometimes we need someone to say, “Get up, get going, clean up where you are at, walk towards a full life that awaits. You must get up and step into the blessing by your side, instead of watching others part take or staying stuck in a puddle of excuses -Jump into the pool of life.”

See you on the path where blessings abound!!!
1 John 5:5—8 Holy Bible Modern Version English Personal size large print edition copyright@2015
2 Caddy, Eileen (1971). Resistance Causes Suffering God Spoke to Me 68-69.

copyright@2016 Austin Lifestylist, Margie Presley Burciaga

Grief – A Journey to Living with Loss Part 1

Grief quote of running into youDeath leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. ~From a headstone in Ireland

The last couple of weeks have involved a lot of loss and as a grief coach it is even hard for me to grasp the measure of what has taken place. Yet I know professionally it is a place we can’t remain; it must be a place that we pass through if not for ourselves to live for those we have lost.
Some say grief never ends instead we only change how we continue to walk through it. My grandmother lost her oldest son, my uncle, when he was 55. She said then what I have heard many times since that we should not out live our children. She changed that day she lost him. Not who she was but how she walked through life with a different set up eyes and feelings that guided her. Since then I have experienced seeing over 30 in fact almost 40 people I know lose their children. This journey began when I was pregnant with my last child with one of my dearest friends losing her little girl as she was crossing a street. In the last two weeks, a class mate and friend here in Austin lost their sons to tragic car accidents – all these losses of children have been tragic actually.

Words- what words we know we could speak thousands and not bring the lost back or comfort the loss. Tears of which there are plenty,in the millions, and beyond and yet they too do little to soothe the soul or bring back the lost love of someone so dear.
So how do we move forward? Baby steps for those that feel like they are drowning on life, can’t come up for air, exhausted from treading griefs waters.

Next posting will be on the steps of grief. Rest assured to grieve is not a sign of weakness nor lack of faith it is the best measure of love for those we lost or for those we love that lost.

LIVING WITH LOSS Part 2

tear picThursday will be three years since I lost my fiancé, best friend, and the dreams we voiced for our future together. Though I have had a lot of loss in my life over the years, nothing could have prepared me for losing a life partner whom we were so soulfully connected. Like many who experience deep emotional loss, I too, even as a professionally trained bereavement coach, had to walk my own journey through grief. In the last few months I have had to say good bye to three friends, join others in grieving the loss of a friend’s son, and learn of the passing of a high school classmate’s son. Though Kubler-Ross has set a globally known standard for stages of grief, we know there is no one standard or set of rules for the steps through grief. Each person handles grief differently and every one experiences loss.
There are all kinds of losses ranging from divorce, a pet dying, letting go of a dream, breaking up of a relationship, sense of security due to a traumatic event, loss of a child, partner, parent, friend, colleague, financial stability etc. We all must face loss, and the time frame to reach acceptance of the loss in order to carry forward in life will be different for each of us.
From bewilderment to shock, numbness, being dazed, overwhelmed, and convincing oneself they’re fine and ok are all symptoms of denial in the grief process. Even guilt can be when used to think “if only”. I must have played every scenario over in my head hundreds of times in the last 3 years about the conversations my fiancé and I had with doctors of what we could have done differently. Never did any of those times bring back the man I lost. Yet I have been able to use the information obtained from reevaluating circumstances to assist others in their own journey to fight their illness and help them realize this is a step to the stage of acceptance for loss.
Anger is a crucial step that many will find themselves in after loss. Anger after loss will vary in length along with feelings that will ebb and flow as one encounters various life experiences especially when memories are triggered. In anger, one can find oneself trying to assign blame; be it to a doctor, another person, misplaced rage or envy towards someone that seems like the right target to dump those feelings onto whether they were responsible or not. Many will blame God too. Those supporting a person at this stage may find it very difficult to care for them or be with them. Abandonment often surfaces at this stage along with resenting others that are happy and enjoying life.

Where do tears come into play for loss? Some cry a lot; others cry hard then are done; for some it comes and goes. What we know is tears are a big part of grief.
When facing impending death many will enter what is called a bargaining stage of grief. This is more often done with one’s God. Promises are made to do something if only the one facing death could have more time. If only I could see my child marry, a grandchild be born, or attend a graduation, etc. We will use this to sooth our pain and create hope for another tomorrow.
Depression, though a very normal part of grief, yields to caution for those you know that enter into what is termed “complicated grief”. Complicated grief is where a person gets stuck mourning the loss for generally beyond a year or so and can involve feelings of suicide, self-destruction, and an inability to cope with day-to-day activities including work. Depression tends to be the deepest stage of grief for most. It was hard losing Steve as well as some other difficult losses, when it seemed like the world just didn’t get it. I didn’t understand why it didn’t stop and pause with me, but instead kept moving forward along with those around me. Some like myself will realize once through this stage there may be little you remember about those weeks or months when going through this part of grief. A common symptom due to loss is physical pain. It felt like my heart was truly broken when losing Steve, and I wondered if it would ever heal. I can truly say moving out of this stage was due to incredible support of friends and family. Other physical symptoms might be fatigue, insomnia, weight loss or gain, and even phantom afflictions. This stage would probably be a good place to tackle what not to say to someone struggling with grief. However, I will save how to re-frame comments for another post.
How does one get to acceptance? First, acknowledge the loss is real no matter what kind it is. Helping one get to this stage will involve lots of positive affirmations and encouragement to reach out for support along with taking baby steps to move forward with life. I remember a dear friend showing up right after I had gone through my divorce and then again after Steve’s death to get out my Christmas decorations and just start doing it so I would follow along. The décor probably would never had gone up had she not taken a time out of her day to help me take that small step forward. Additional small steps taken were helping raise money to fight lung cancer, advocating for others fighting the disease, and assisting others on how to save their relationships or to get out well due to my own experience with divorce. Today as a certified life coach, all the circumstances surrounding my own losses are used to help others work through their challenges and reach their personal and professional goals. Loss is hard as it is already!

Having found out the hard way, one doesn’t get over loss; one learns how to live with it.

@2015 Austin Lifestylist, Marjorie Burciaga

How To Avoid Being A Square Hole With A Round Peg?

Sq hole round peg
Wondering what’s missing in your relationship? Whether you are married, dating or in a long term relationship it is not uncommon for one of the partners if not both to wake up one morning feeling unfilled or asking why we can’t get to the next level, commit to marriage, or question continuing to wake up next to the person beside you, or even struggle to go home to whom awaits there. Once one acknowledges this concern, now what? Would it not have been better if from the get go each person had created a vision of what they wanted in a life partner?
Instead we often find ourselves dating, meeting someone by chance without really looking, finding someone that fills our temporary needs, or pseudo commit to someone that seems like they could be the one for the long haul then start accessing how to make the relationship better so it feels more right to stay in it. All in an effort to possibly avoid having to begin again to find a suitable mate by prolonging the inevitable of ending a relationship that isn’t working on all cylinders. This is especially true due to the high numbers of couples living together verses being married. The relationship becomes too entrenched in areas that probably should be left to when a couple is willing to make a lifelong commitment. Like getting too enmeshed in the children’s lives, even grandchildren, careers, as well as each other families, etc. This is not to say that when dating we should not be spending good quality time with each others family and friends.
Would it not be better to know how to avoid “being a square hole with a round peg”? Close your eyes. Envision a square hole and a round peg that will fit the hole, but there are spaces around the peg. That’s what happens when we don’t first create a vision and define the character, qualities, values, morals that we desire and need from an ideal mate. When I am working with clients they are asked specifically to do this exercise including going through a long list of values. Otherwise, we end up wondering after a while how to fill the spaces around the peg. We end up unfilled, wondering if or how to get out of the relationship instead of knowing what the ideal mate needs to be before trying to fit him or her into our life. It is also wise to make sure that one’s whole self is being brought to the table before starting the dating process. It comes as no surprise that studies estimate over 50% off all marriages end in divorce, about 75% of those that live together before marriage end in divorce and the statics aren’t any better for 2nd, 3rd marriages.
What makes matters worse is we start making excuses for the other person or even ourselves all the while knowing it may be wrong for us which sometimes builds up resentments that don’t serve either person well. “Fear” of what will happen if the relationship ends is probably the greatest self-defeating, emotional obstacle that holds one back or keeps oneself from progressing to take steps for a better future. We stay for all kinds of reasons, even very valid ones, like its’ the first guy my kids, family, or friends really like, or she has been really helpful in building my business, my boss really seems to like me with her so he takes us out more and gives me better leads, he is so handy and nice to all my friends, at least we are financially stable together, or can’t find something really wrong with him and those we know keep telling me I should marry him but… what if I don’t feel it or know in my gut something keeps holding me back? Yes, all good excuses from keeping you from getting the love you want, desire and deserve for a lifetime. Breakups are hard! So why not do all we can to assist ourselves upfront to “creatively design the life we want”?
©2015 Austin Lifestylist
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“Expectations” Is Not A Dirty Word

Desire, expectations, cherish, growth, nourish, seek – all great words when considering or getting into aHeart with couple in it relationship. A couple of weeks ago, I received a long letter from a client outlining his desires and expectations for a life mate. He admittedly realized over the last several years that some of his expectations have changed after being back out in the dating world. This letter along with other conversations brought to light some insights to share.
What are your expectations of a life mate? Have you taken the time to list out the qualities and character of a mate you desire? What were the expectations when you made the pledge to marry? “Expectations” is not a dirty word, in fact when used well, allows each of us to enter a relationship on solid footing with clarity from the onset. Without vision, without clarity, I find many clients trying to fit a round peg into a square hole then wonder why there are gaps around the peg and a filling of despair and fulfillment. Needless to say backing up is even tougher once in the relationship or marriage which is why most end after the 1st year of marriage and the 2nd highest ending most often occurs after children are gone from the house. And we will take a look at the overwhelming increase of divorce in 2nd and 3rd marriages, etc. in future blogs of this series.

How many of you desire to date or marry someone you aren’t particularly physically attracted too? I would dare say probably only about 2% of all males and females I’ve visited with professionally and personally have said that “looks” are not important. This is stated under the knowledge that beauty remains in the eyes of the beholder and beauty of one’s soul is most likely judged in another context. And yet it’s a given that physical intimacy is an integral part of any whole relationship.

heart profile pic
What discipline is needed to maintain habits to ensure physical attraction can be continued throughout the relationship cycle when trying to foster what entices a mate to look at you with alluring eyes and sex appeal? How many of you have used the motivation tool “to change” to remain or with the expectation of being more content in a relationship? And how many of you would dare say the challenge to change worked for any length of time? Did illusion set in? Disappointment? A need to compare one’s mate to others? Did you find yourself going overboard in your own routine in hopes your mate would follow your example? Any yet countless studies conclude the internal drive of one’s self needs to want to make a change, want to take on the discipline to have any lasting impact. Something in one’s inner being must drive the decision, meaning you are doing it first for yourself verses for someone else, or to hold on to a relationship or a job even.
When asking someone to change, one needs to ask one’s self is the change more about you or more about them? What is driving the decision for the change to occur? Why are you wanting them to change? Tread lightly here since many motivating factors requiring change in a mate can be manipulative for one’s own sense of self-worth or gratification in the relationship. When a couple find themselves at this place in a relationship, where change is needed for whatever reason, it is very important that they have the conversation no matter how hard it is to avoid resentments, frustrations, wondering eyes, reduced intimacy, etc. Many years ago, I was taking a medication that caused me to gain about 15 lbs. in about 3 weeks which needless to say wreaked havoc on my body. I was mortified, quickly went off the medication, but it took months to repair the damage. Thankfully I already had the discipline in place to work hard to regain my figure, yet at the same time, it did admittedly impact the way my spouse at the time looked at me. Ladies men are visual – it’s a fact, they were created that way, and we can’t escape how it effects many psychological areas of their being.
Remember the childhood fable, “Jack Sprat who ate no fat his wife who ate no lean”? Clearly physical looks, along with what attracts one to another varies from person to person. Therefore, when the first inclination registers in one’s subconscious desiring a mate to change, in order to continue to be physically attracted that will vary considerably. What is most important is not expecting change to necessarily change the relationship – it rarely does. Generally a need for change, especially physical, is a symptom of something much deeper going on in the relationship.

@copyright 2015 Austin Lifestylist
Sign up for the newsletter to the next blog posting, “How to avoid being a square hole with a round peg” What’s missing in your relationship?

Seizing Life’s Opportunities – Will You?

What challenges in life’s uncertainties cause you to play it safe verses taking the risk for a greater life? King Solomon, considered one of the wisest and possibly the richest man to walk this earth, shared the necessity to seize life’s opportunities. He knew life had no guarantees and to wait for the perfect condition, which might not ever come, we could lose out having it at all.
Ecc 11:1 “Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again.”
(Life Application Bible NIV)

As we begin a new week, what conditions have you been waiting for that if action were taken might yield grander results? Where’s your spirit of trust and adventure for facing life’s risks and opportunities? Worry less about the Red Sea ahead and trust in faith the waters will part when needed.

“A vision is not the same as a plan…A vision forces us to “see” something, it’s very different from a list.”
(Kristin Armstrong, Happily Ever After @copyright 2007)

How do you vision your life ahead? What does it look like? When traveling this past week, there was a lot of time to reflect on times I took risks for the better, times I missed out when not seizing the moment, smiles and tears for that which has come upon me over the last several years. On the journey home, I found myself choosing to vision God’s favor on a life that fills my hearts desires. One filled with great passion, joy, contentment, surrounded with family and friends always.

What risks are you willing to take for a fuller, richer life?

@copyright 2015 Austin LIfestylist, Marjorie Burciaga

Stop Wishing For Something More and Get What You Desire

With the emergence of spring time has come the yearning from several clients for something new or asking how to move forward out of their current situation. Many of us can find ourselves in relationships that just aren’t working or perhaps wondering if he or she is the one. How do we know when to call it quits?

Make a list of characteristics of your ideal mate. This is much easier to do when not in a relationship since the trick is not making a list to fit the person you are currently seeing. Be honest with yourself!
List out pros and cons of current relationship. List should include characteristics, habits, personal desires etc. There is no limit. How much of what is on your ideal mate list matches up with the pros on this list? I always tell clients, “Play the movie forward. What do you want the end result to look like?” Make sure you are not settling for less than what you want and desire.
What continues to nag you? What gut feelings keep coming up in your mind that make you question the one whom you are with? Are you asking yourself the same questions that you were contemplating 6 months ago or a year or more? It never ceases to amaze me when talking to a client or even a friend about concerns they are having in a relationship that will continue to surface again and again. Those are red flags! We need to pay attention to them. Some we will learn to live with and will seem more like a yellow flag of caution, but many times those red flags need or must be addressed at some point to solidify being in the relationship at all. Too frequently those same red flags end up being huge factors to ending a relationship or divorce.
What are you not getting out of the current relationship that you need, want, or desire? How much are you compromising to stay in the relationship? Do you find yourself avoiding important topics of conversation? Are you weary of the possibility of being alone? Worried about starting over again? Is there passion both in daily life and in the bedroom? How much of the decision to end the relationship is about time invested? Having guilt about waiting this long to break it off? If you have ever been in a past relationship then know these are valid concerns, yet you also know the end is almost always difficult no matter what the reasons maybe. More often than not regardless of how much time it takes to end a relationship, it still ends the same way just more time has passed with more emotions and history involved to get there.
Why do we seem to have chemistry, but just can’t make it work? Two people that find themselves attracted to each other, wanting many of the same things, don’t always make a great couple for the long haul. Yes chemistry is important, however there is so much more that goes into a relationship. There are not many couples like James Carville and Mary Matalin that can make it work in spite of their vast differences about politics. The same can be said when it comes to religion, ideas about sex, how to raise a family, financial decisions, addiction habits, physical activity, health, etc. All these are potential hot buttons for many couples.
Do you find yourself wondering more times than not “what if”? What if I moved on? Or wondering if someone else that has caught your eye would be a better fit? Or even thinking about a past relationship, comparing the differences, and wondering where would we be now? One must consider their gut feelings, yet keep in prospective that feelings ebb and flow by looking at the patterns of behavior in the relationship. Relationships more often than not have their ups and downs along with difficult moments. It’s not having them that is the concern, it’s how you get through them. Do you feel content with how matters are addressed? Do you feel you can have the difficult discussions without judgement attached? Are you able to be honest with your answers and ask the hard questions without fear of the outcome or reaction? Do you feel safe in bed with your partner if in an intimate relationship? The ideal partner will make you feel safe physically and emotionally. Your overall well-being should feel contentment, satisfaction, and joy with the person you are with on a daily basis in spite of the circumstances along with a sense of knowing he or she is the best person for you.

Preparing for a date: It’s a First, Make it a Second and a Third

We all know that chemistry plays a role in the progression of dating, however there are dating skills that once embraced can maximize your opportunities. Many singles are coming off “the holiday season” with Valentine’s on their heels wondering must I really go through another holiday season without a significant other. Others may wonder, what does it take to maximize a date or get that next date?
Going on the 1st couple of dates with someone is much like a job interview except it is a personal interview so consider what you want others to know about you before you even say a word. We say a lot about ourselves without even speaking. It is not new news that 1st impressions can be everything. We know it just by how people judge pictures and profiles with online dating without even meeting or knowing the person or when walking down a street whether you feel inclined to nod, or say hello verses passing on by with your head down or moving to the other side of the street. We may not think we judge but we do. It’s instinctive, it’s part of a protection mechanism within us as well. So again, what would you like others to know about you before you even say a word? We say things with our eyes, our expressions, how we carry ourselves, our posture, our gait and of course our overall presentation. Is your overall presentation congruent with your inner being? Is your overall presentation an asset to meeting your personal goals?
When it comes to presentation and dating another good question to consider is “how much time do you spend preparing for a date”? Men are typically responsible for planning the first couple of outings. Which should include making a reservation if going to dinner, brunch or even lunch sometimes so that you are not standing and waiting at length for a table as well as making sure the table is not back at the kitchen where you would be competing with the kitchen staff while trying to get to know your date. Keep in mind restaurants do close so make sure it is still open if you have not been there in a while. Men, if you take care of the details on a date it conveys a message of being able to take care for the details in a life together and shows a since of caring for the overall well being of the couple. Also, take time to plan out what you will wear including pressing the garments along with being groomed. I had a friend that show up to a nice restaurant to meet her date not only was he late, he showed up in clothes not fit for the date nor were they pressed. They had been set up by a mutual friend. He not only showed a lack of respect for my friend, his date, but he conveyed a lack of respect for their friend that thought enough of both of them to make the introduction. Another helpful tip, gentlemen, is once you decide what to wear share with your date so she can prepare to be dressed appropriately.
We all know it can be a small world. Therefore, men and women need to show up to a date with an attitude of respect regardless of the outcome. Even if they are not the person for you, they may know someone that is, they might be a great contact for work, you never know when nor how your paths could cross again, and who they know that they might share the encounter with that could have a greater influence on your life and career. And once at the date, make sure that you are not sitting across from each other if at all possible. It creates a job interview environment verses a personal encounter to possibly have your last first date.
Men’s role on a 1st date:
• Find out about her – listen as much as you talk
• Show her you can care for her emotionally, financially, and later physically
• Discover one thing you like about her and tell her
Women’s role on a 1st date:
• Reveal your inner and outer beauty – it is not about being a size 2
• Be interesting – show your strengths yet create a since of mystique – men are innately hunters so allow them to hunt to desire to get to know you better
• Show sex appeal – not cheesy or sleazy – emphasize your best physical asset like great toned arms, or your decolletage

Dating With Style: Fashion Basics for Men and Women

A person doesn’t need to break the bank to have a nice basic wardrobe. Tips for dating with style.

Fashion Basics for Men:
1. “Go To” Jean – need to fit well, not too short in length, dark color preferably
2. White Dress Shirt- very versatile to go from work to social
3. Dark Sports Coat – it’s never out of style to look suave, maximize budget
by purchasing a dark suit and use pieces separately
4. Dress Shoe – hard sole shoes statistically convey authority
5. Nice Casual Shoe or boot
6. Sunglasses – need to fit your face and convey personality
7. *Signature Scent – a nonverbal way to draw one in to you
8. Polo Shirt – collar shirts convey authority and leadership
9. Metal Watch
10. Basic T-shirt – a nice t-shirt can look really good under a sport coat

Additional wardrobe staples: wallet that is not worn out or a money clip, flattering swim trunks, colored dress shirt, cashmere sweater, dark trousers. Buy a suit and use the pieces to stretch your wardrobe options.

Fashion Basics for Women:

1. “Go To” Jean
2. Classic Black Heels
3. Little Black Dress – Navy or Charcoal may look best on some women
4. Dark Colored Skirt
5. Feminine Blouse
6. Statement Piece of Jewelry – great way to show personality
7. Handbag
8. Sunglasses – needs to fit your face
9. *Signature Scent
10. Base and Lip Color appropriate to skin tone

Additional wardrobe staples: swimsuit and cover up (a maxi dress is a great way to stretch a budget to be worn as cover up or dress), white shirt, black pumps, clutch.

*Signature scent – test before you buy a full bottle. Go to a perfume counter and ask for someone that is very familiar with the scents, possibly the department manager or buyer. Describe to them a little about you and scents you have worn in the past that you were complimented on. Have them give you 3-5 samples that will last you 3-5 days. Wear each one continuously until fragrance is gone, if not compliments try the next one until you come across one that you can tell others are drawn into you and or comment. This is not about spraying yourself silly it should be dabbed on.

Maximize your Online Dating Profile

Maximize Your Best Self Now for Online Dating Profiles
Profile Photos:
• Show your face – no sunglasses on the lead profile picture
(if it’s one of several in profile that’s at like a beach somewhere fine, otherwise question what they are trying to hide)
• Keep main profile picture current, if online more than a couple of years change it
• No selfies
• Have interesting backgrounds – no pics by your bedroom wall – shows no imagination for putting your best self out there so where else will there be no imagination?….
• Make sure pictures with opposite gender are not ex-partners, label who you are with, don’t crop where other gender if visible
• Guys limit number of pictures with your teenager daughter and her girl- friends – too cheesy
• Label headshots since they are often photo shopped
• Use current pictures or put dates taken
Pictures online should show your best self. They need to convey your personality and interests. This is not about not being genuine or authentic however a picture does say a thousand words so for all those out there that say, “Well they can take me how I am or forget it”. Then as Dr. Phil would say, “How’s it working for you so far?” If online dating is not going well then rethink how you are portraying yourself not only in pictures but in your profile summary as well.
Tag Name
• Needs to be catchy
• Be easy to explain in a positive statement
• Tell something about you or your interests
Profile Content
• Use “I” less
• Men look for kind hearted, sweet, creative, adventurous, passionate about something, like to have sex (although this is a bit tricky to convey in a profile), not crazy (this too is hard to evaluate online)
• Women look for financially stable (it’s less about the income & more about stability), easy going – not to controlling or short tempered, free of addictions, family oriented, those that have hobbies/interests
• Be careful with humor, what might sound funny may not convey well in text
• Answer some of question but leave some mystery to the full answer
• Tell the kind of person you desire to have in a partner/spouse
What do you typically do on a Friday night?
• Either don’t answer or be honestly creative with how you spend this time
• What you do with family, friends or how you spend time chilling out
Online Tips
• Pay the upgrade!
• Those that are serious take time to fill out the profile content & put several pictures in the album
• A interested prospect will send a message that conveys he has read your profile, what he likes about your and your photos
• A wink is not a legitimate contact it is phishing
• Men that put women in favorites without any more contact are phishing
• Women that put men in favorites are showing interest
• Take the time to email a bit; always classy if they give you a personal email, Linked In, or work contact to legitimize their interest and intent to be authentic
ALWAYS meet in a public place
• Authentic daters do not ask for money, Beware of scams on dating sites