Give The Gift of Love

Married/couples, those in relationships, can play a big part in introducing your single friends to a future of happiness. As we move past the traditional holiday season into a new year many singles would rather not go through another holiday season single. Giving the gift of love could be a priceless gift you could give to a friend or colleague. There are so many wonderful stories out there of how people have been introduced by someone they knew. This year consider being one of those great conversations of how you introduced a couple to each other.
Singles, if you are serious about not being single start telling everyone you know you are interested in meeting singles they know. And those in relationships or married let others you know that you have an awesome friend that is single that deserves to find love. Ask those you know if they know other singles and neither of you should feel responsible for the outcome of making an introduction. Ask those you do business with or services, friends, tennis partners etc. who they know who is single. Make the introduction and let them take it from there. Keep in mind most people did not meet their mate after one introduction so be willing to continue to introduce single friends to others. Also, very important, do not prejudge who would be best for your friend or colleague to meet because more often than not you are making assumptions based on your own tastes and knowledge of that person. You won’t be dating them so let fate take its course without your two cents.
A woman I know had signed up for an online site after over a year of dating and meeting like over 30 men that friends had introduced her too that had not worked out. Then she decided why not give online dating a try. So one evening after a work function she and her friend were walking to their cars so she shared she had finally bit the bullet to try to meet men outside her circle of influence to see who else might be out there. Her friend asked if she knew the man’s name she was meeting which she did but the friend said nothing except to let her know when she was home safely from the outting. Thinking she could do anything for about an hour she went and met the guy close to home for a drink. What she thought would be 45 minutes to an hour turned into 3 hours and finding a life partner. What’s important to note that after the two had been dating a bit it came out that this man and her friend had been neighbors but she had chosen not to say anything to influence the out-come. Mind you the friend would have never have thought to set them up to begin with, but could not believe how awesome they were together.
Lesson learned for all their friends not to prejudge who is best for one another. That is not to say that when you know certain things about a person that it might be useful at some point to give a heads up by finding an appropriate time to share just in the case the information might help in determining red flags in the relationship. That being said let things take their course to get started! No better gift to give a person you care about than the “gift of love”.

Do’s and Don’ts for Online Dating

Do’s
Try out a couple of sites
Pay the monthly upgrade from free – generally those that pay are more serious about being in a relationship verses serial dating
Photos need to enhance your image – use of professional photos is fine, when using personal photo’s make sure background is interesting or says something about you
Take time to answer the questions
Have someone proof before putting online
Pay attention to your gut feeling….there are scammers on the sites
Respond to those who interest you in a timely manner
Don’ts
No selfies, No blah backgrounds
Ex-spouses, partners, old relationships – it infers not ready for a new commitment
Lie or be deceitful – put up recent pics, use current age , list only activities you enjoy doing
Spill your life story – tell enough about yourself, your relationship goals and leave the rest to when you are getting to the other person (this is more about what you put in responses to a contact vs a profile)
Ladies-dont initiate – men are innately hunters so let them seek you out, you can put them in your favorite file or if a site where you can click yes, no, maybe that’s okay too, otherwise let them contact you

Civility in Dating

Online dating and use of social media has raised the level of impersonal communication which is in direct conflict of developing a personal relationship. Although the tools are great for casting ones net broader the use of them such as texting, Facebook, and emailing to communicate is just that a means of communicating. Once a connection has been made personally, a face to face encounter, it is important that a “touch communication” such as calling be used to set up the next date. Given that the object of dating is to get to know someone better we must keep in mind that each encounter be it face to face or by phone needs to foster getting to know the other person better so that one can evaluate if they should continue to give of their time and energy to grow the relationship. Since this article is about after the first date the use of online dating communication tools to even have a first date will not be covered.

Gentlemen, if you say you are going to call-call!  If you set up a date or suggest a dating experience follow through on it. Be respectful of the other person especially if you run in the same circles, professionally overlap, have mutual friends, etc. You also may not be aware of whom they know that can have a negative impact on you at a later date. Do not ever feel like you have to say I will call you or get back with you shortly. Instead, be cordial and let them know you appreciated meeting them so that if you not sure if you want to see them again you have not obligated yourself. Same for you women!

Ladies, men were created with a hunting instinct. Though most do not hunt for food these days the instinct is still innate. Therefore, let them hunt, let them seek you out, allow for desire to heighten. If you aren’t a priority now you are not going to be a priority later. On social dating sites click save for favorites, can click like on some sites but do not contact them unless they contact you first. Part of hunting is preparation so let him reach out to you and he should plan the date or meet up. He is also responsible for following up afterwards.  Do not text him, send a message on Facebook to remind him what a great time you had unless he has done the same to you first. Do not give him more than he gives you. If he texts, answer, keep it brief, and do not ask a question or flood him with excess information about what you have been up too. If he calls but does not leave a message wait until he calls you back. If you miss the call, call him back but not over and over again. If he is interested in you, he will call back.

Try to not let modern technology play mind games with you. Like well perhaps he didn’t get my text or my phone message. Does it happen sometimes-yes but the reality is if he is in to you, he will want to see and talk to you. Let it go otherwise as hard as it may be to do so. Best to know early whether you are a priority in his life or not. Better the door to close before it flies wide open then needs to slam shut to minimize the hurt. The exception is when you might have known the person or know you will see each other and would like to at least keep things on a friendship level. In that case, but not necessarily, give it a day or so and return the contact made previously with a brief message that you hope they received your message. Ex: “Thought I would touch base and make sure the message  left a couple of days ago you had received. Hope you are having a great week. Suzy” At least then you know you were civil and made sure you had communicated your intentions so if to see each other down the road you knew you had handled things like you would with any friend which is to be respectful, to remain civil.

Keep in mind that not everyone is as ready to date as they make think they are. Sometimes they don’t even know themselves until they step out into the dating world. Dating doesn’t have to be difficult. Some people chose to make it that way. Be leery of those that say they hate confrontation or drama because generally they are the very ones that create it by their actions or in-actions.

It is best to stay honest. The truth is always better and less complicated. It’s called being respectful of the other human being.

5 Ways Your Saboting Your Relationship

So your love life is starting to turn sour. Hey, it happens—don’t rely on Nicholas Sparks for an accurate depiction of romance. But although things may be going haywire, you don’t have to give up just yet. Here are five signs you’re damaging your own relationship as well as how to fix it!

1. You Don’t Trust Him Around Other Girls
Unless he’s given you a reason not to trust him around females (in which case, you’re probably better off without him anyways), you need to chill, girl. Jealousy is just a petty and unattractive emotion—it makes you look insecure, and who wants to be with someone who’s not comfortable with herself?

If you’re having trouble trusting your guy, it could be because you were hurt in a past relationship. “Many women carry baggage from previous relationships,” says Adam LoDolce, dating coach and founder of Sexy Confidence. “In other words, they’ve been cheated on in the past, so they assume it will happen again.”

Bringing your old relationship issues into this one isn’t fair to your current guy. “The hard part is not letting past grievances be heaped on someone who had nothing to do with your old stuff,” says dating coach Margie Burciaga. Try to let go of your past and give this relationship a chance. Not every guy has bad intentions.

2. You’re Constantly on His Case
PLEASE don’t leave your toothbrush on the counter, how many times have I asked you?”
“Babe, you’ve worn that hoodie three days in a row now.”
“Can you not put your shoes in the middle of the floor? We’ve been over this.”
“Don’t you have homework you should be doing?”

OMG GIRL, STOP IT. Nobody likes to be nagged! “Nagging him doesn’t enhance special feelings about you, it makes him feel inadequate,” says online dating expert Gina Stewart. “Who wants to be with someone who makes them feel bad about themselves?”

Remember when your mom used to bug you about cleaning your room or getting your homework done or picking up after yourself, and you felt annoyed? You’re being his mom now—and he doesn’t like it. He wants a girlfriend, not an extra mommy. So relax.

If something is really bugging you, bring it up nicely and with a smile. “State what you want and why it’s important, then give space for an answer and take what he says at face value, along with listening to what he says,” Burciaga says. “Men generally tell you exactly where they are coming from.”

3. You Always Want to Hang Out With Him
When you find someone really cool, sometimes we ladies have a tendency to get—well, dependent, to put it nicely. If you find yourself getting furious when he turns down your near-frantic “Can we hang out?” inquiries, then you know you’ve crossed over to clingy.

“When a woman is too clingy and expecting to get all of her excitement and validation from constantly being with her man, it slowly chokes the life out of the relationship,” says Marla Martenson, a matchmaker, author and motivational speaker.

The truth is harsh, but it’s this: nothing will make a guy ditch you faster than your over bearingness. Who likes to feel smothered? That’s right—no one. So try to back off a little.

“Not giving him space—this is a result of not having your own friends and life,” LoDolce says. “He won’t want a life with you unless you have a life without him. Pursue a passion, get a hobby, grab drinks with your girlfriends.”

4. You Over analyze Everything
How many times have you read a text over and over, trying to decipher exactly what it meant? Or maybe you’ve replayed a scene in your head a thousand times, trying to break it down further and further. You worry and obsess about every little thing he says or does—and that’s not healthy.

“Guys are generally pretty straightforward–they tell it like it is,” says Laurie Davis, founder and CEO of eFlirt Expert. “There is no reading between the lines. But women over analyze everything and often think there is a greater meaning to everything he says. Ultimately, over analyzing can push him away entirely.”

So, what’s the solution? Actually talking to your guy rather than stressing over what you think he might have meant. “Open communication is always best, so if you’re ever unsure of what he means when he says something, ask!” Davis says

5. Your Expectations Are Too High

Are you one of those girls who have lengthy lists of every quality their ideal man must possess? “In budding relationships, I often observe women building up a guy or a relationship up before it’s really anything tangible,” says Davis. “But when you do this, he will never live up to your expectations. Fantasies are not reality.”

So take a breather and burn that list, because finding a man without flaws is impractical. Love isn’t always like your fave romance movie; in fact, it’s usually not.

Also, don’t get ahead of yourself (i.e., don’t start asking him about what kind of father he’d be on the fourth date). “Keep two feet planted on the ground,” Davis says. “It’s okay to think about him, but try to reminisce over something he said or did on your last date rather than imagining what it will feel like to walk down the aisle together.”

If you’re engaging in any of the above behaviors, your relationship could be in trouble. But listening to the advice of these experts should make fixing your problems relatively easy! Channel your inner superwoman and be proactive about your problems. After all, this relationship may just be worth saving.

By Ashley McDonald in Relationships

https://www.hercampus.com/love/relationships/5-ways-you-re-sabotaging-your-relationship

 

Preparing For Rush

MARGARET KING of Birmingham, Ala., was at a loss about how to help her older daughter prepare to rush at the University of Virginia. In the South, where sororities have long been a momentous rite of passage, the road to sisterhood is long and not so clearly marked.

So Mrs. King, who graduated from Yale in 1984, before it had any sororities, enlisted the aid of Marlea Foster and Pat Grant, local consultants who had coached their own daughters through rush at Furman, the University of Georgia and Auburn University. Naming themselves the Rushbiddies, they opened shop in 2009 after hearing about the rush misfortunes of their daughters’ friends. About 50 mothers and their “chicks,” as the Biddies affectionately call them, attended one of their two-day workshops in April ($100 a couple), complete with mock rush party, wardrobe hints and paperwork prep. Read the article at NY Times.

Make Dating Fun

Part of the joy of actually DATING is to explore different aspects of ourselves. Try new things, explore and express that part of yourself. Are you getting out of your box? Are you a strong athlete? Excellent! How about attending an Arts Performance like a musical or the ballet once or twice? A happy book worm? Superb! What about an hour hike or kayaking lesson! People are attracted to energy and it can come in all forms. And to ALL I recommend, GO DANCING!

Are you staying abreast of Dating in the 21st century? Do you have an Internet Dating Profile (s) posted at Online Dating sites? Have you tried Speed Dating? Have you even heard of Speed Dating for singles? Are you aware of the many places to meet new people?

How much preparation do you put into getting ready for a date? How much thought do you put into planning the date itself? Making a reservation verses risking no seating for an hour? Or what you want to accomplish and take away by the end of the date? How much attention is paid to what you wear, your grooming, cleaning your car? Being on time to greet your date? Getting yourself energized for the date itself?

High Hopes For a New Relationship

Relationships are a big part of life especially those that involve a life partner or the potential for one. Dating not only allows you to get to know others it can be a major factor in getting to know yourself. By learning what you like and don’t like along with a clear vision of the future you wish to have and the kind of person you desire to have share it.

You’re hoping, maybe against all hopes, that there really is someone out there for you. You’re wondering in your heart of hearts, “Margie, Dare I hope? Is there someone out there for ME?” Of course there is! The trick is being willing to open oneself up enough and widen the tunnel vision approach to dating, some would say it is “being too picky”. This is not about settling it is about a willingness to see potential in everyone you meet. Seeing the possibility of supporting a person to bring out the best in them and they in you. Beauty can be seen in many ways-there is not one definition of beauty. There are plenty of good looking people continuing to have unsuccessful relationships. The clients I work with are intelligent, successful, talented, and motivated people that are willing to work at obtaining the beauty of inner strengths so that what they think may be conveyed and projected into realities.

Sweetheart, I am here to tell you, “It is not your fault!” It is not your fault that you are not already married. It is not your fault that you haven’t already found someone perfect for you. As your Romance Coach, I can tell you, there is hope, you can do something about it, and it’s easy to do. But you, like all of us, will need help implementing the necessary steps along the simple path to finding love. That’s where I step in as your Romantic Relationship Expert, Online Dating Coach, Bereavement Specialist, and Professional Image and Wardrobe Consultant.

Married for 25 years and divorced, widowed after being with the love of my life, Margie has successfully navigated the romance and dating game. She knows the heartache of loss and what it takes to start again. I have worked with others as they navigated finding marriage partners and all that a great romantic relationship entails in the dating realm. With her compassionate, humorous and sometimes audacious approach she encourages and inspires her clients to be their best selves and find love with her as their Romance Coach.

As you sit at your computer, reading through my numerous dating and online personal dating advise and Free Dating Articles, you will learn why my client list includes national clientele who rely on my audacious approach, warmth, humor, and relationship expertise to increase their number of dates and improve their romantic relationships. While audacious, I am always discrete and maintain utter confidentiality for all my clientele.

A Classic You with a Modern Skew

Fashion and Style began having a great impact on mainstream society in the late 1960s and 1970s when television as entertainment became prominent in American households. Fashion in news and publications dates back to the late 1800s, but the best known trend setter dates to 1901 when Harpar’s Bazaar released it’s first true, American fashion magazine. Today, we have Ezines, blogs and websites to help us follow the latest trends. Read the article at Influential Magazine.

Dressed To Go

Does keeping “Austin Weird” mean social attire is a coin toss when deciding what to wear? One might find themselves asking, “With clothing does anything really go when it comes to living in Austin?” Sometimes it sure seems that way when out on the town or attending functions. Read the article at Influential Magazine.

What Manners?

The art of living well dates back centuries. In the 1600’s French nobility created rules of etiquette that would govern social interactions many of which continue to be the framework of what we are to be using today. The word etiquette came from an old word meaning ticket. Social interactions, their times, where they took place, dress codes and behaviors were all a part of the rules of etiquette. Read the complete article at Influential Magazine.