Grief – A Journey to Living with Loss Part 1

Grief quote of running into youDeath leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. ~From a headstone in Ireland

The last couple of weeks have involved a lot of loss and as a grief coach it is even hard for me to grasp the measure of what has taken place. Yet I know professionally it is a place we can’t remain; it must be a place that we pass through if not for ourselves to live for those we have lost.
Some say grief never ends instead we only change how we continue to walk through it. My grandmother lost her oldest son, my uncle, when he was 55. She said then what I have heard many times since that we should not out live our children. She changed that day she lost him. Not who she was but how she walked through life with a different set up eyes and feelings that guided her. Since then I have experienced seeing over 30 in fact almost 40 people I know lose their children. This journey began when I was pregnant with my last child with one of my dearest friends losing her little girl as she was crossing a street. In the last two weeks, a class mate and friend here in Austin lost their sons to tragic car accidents – all these losses of children have been tragic actually.

Words- what words we know we could speak thousands and not bring the lost back or comfort the loss. Tears of which there are plenty,in the millions, and beyond and yet they too do little to soothe the soul or bring back the lost love of someone so dear.
So how do we move forward? Baby steps for those that feel like they are drowning on life, can’t come up for air, exhausted from treading griefs waters.

Next posting will be on the steps of grief. Rest assured to grieve is not a sign of weakness nor lack of faith it is the best measure of love for those we lost or for those we love that lost.