Preparing for a date: It’s a First, Make it a Second and a Third

We all know that chemistry plays a role in the progression of dating, however there are dating skills that once embraced can maximize your opportunities. Many singles are coming off “the holiday season” with Valentine’s on their heels wondering must I really go through another holiday season without a significant other. Others may wonder, what does it take to maximize a date or get that next date?
Going on the 1st couple of dates with someone is much like a job interview except it is a personal interview so consider what you want others to know about you before you even say a word. We say a lot about ourselves without even speaking. It is not new news that 1st impressions can be everything. We know it just by how people judge pictures and profiles with online dating without even meeting or knowing the person or when walking down a street whether you feel inclined to nod, or say hello verses passing on by with your head down or moving to the other side of the street. We may not think we judge but we do. It’s instinctive, it’s part of a protection mechanism within us as well. So again, what would you like others to know about you before you even say a word? We say things with our eyes, our expressions, how we carry ourselves, our posture, our gait and of course our overall presentation. Is your overall presentation congruent with your inner being? Is your overall presentation an asset to meeting your personal goals?
When it comes to presentation and dating another good question to consider is “how much time do you spend preparing for a date”? Men are typically responsible for planning the first couple of outings. Which should include making a reservation if going to dinner, brunch or even lunch sometimes so that you are not standing and waiting at length for a table as well as making sure the table is not back at the kitchen where you would be competing with the kitchen staff while trying to get to know your date. Keep in mind restaurants do close so make sure it is still open if you have not been there in a while. Men, if you take care of the details on a date it conveys a message of being able to take care for the details in a life together and shows a since of caring for the overall well being of the couple. Also, take time to plan out what you will wear including pressing the garments along with being groomed. I had a friend that show up to a nice restaurant to meet her date not only was he late, he showed up in clothes not fit for the date nor were they pressed. They had been set up by a mutual friend. He not only showed a lack of respect for my friend, his date, but he conveyed a lack of respect for their friend that thought enough of both of them to make the introduction. Another helpful tip, gentlemen, is once you decide what to wear share with your date so she can prepare to be dressed appropriately.
We all know it can be a small world. Therefore, men and women need to show up to a date with an attitude of respect regardless of the outcome. Even if they are not the person for you, they may know someone that is, they might be a great contact for work, you never know when nor how your paths could cross again, and who they know that they might share the encounter with that could have a greater influence on your life and career. And once at the date, make sure that you are not sitting across from each other if at all possible. It creates a job interview environment verses a personal encounter to possibly have your last first date.
Men’s role on a 1st date:
• Find out about her – listen as much as you talk
• Show her you can care for her emotionally, financially, and later physically
• Discover one thing you like about her and tell her
Women’s role on a 1st date:
• Reveal your inner and outer beauty – it is not about being a size 2
• Be interesting – show your strengths yet create a since of mystique – men are innately hunters so allow them to hunt to desire to get to know you better
• Show sex appeal – not cheesy or sleazy – emphasize your best physical asset like great toned arms, or your decolletage